


Girl in the Glass

by PhoenixFalling



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Depressed Lena, Eventual Fluff, F/F, SuperCorp, a dive into the troubled mind of the only good Luthor, hungover lena, lena's word is falling apart, my darling is suffering, technically not smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-28 17:30:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16727817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixFalling/pseuds/PhoenixFalling
Summary: After a rough break up with James Olsen, Lena runs into the comforting arms of a friend she had fallen out with sometime before after a not so shocking revelation. What she did not expect was to awaken the next morning with a merciless hangover and apparently a hazy night she struggles to remember. Perhaps it is out of fear of something real? The start of something she suppressed for so long coming to light?--Or Lena and Kara and a drunken night and Lena spirals.





	1. Qualm with Myself

**Author's Note:**

> This story is unlike any other I have written thus far, trying to extent my writing endeavors into the mind of someone troubled, someone broken. So it will probably be more heart wrenching than cute/sappy as I want to take a dive in how I personally see Lena. 
> 
> Don't worry though, this is a Supercorp story after all, they will reunite in chapter 3.

Every atom of her being groaned with exhaustion, nauseous flooding her system. Lena bolted up in attempt to keep down the bile, greeted instead by a blinding headache. She rubbed her temple between her fingers, slowly opening her eyes to harsh sunlight filtering in through the blinds. Blinking rapidly to adjust, she could not focus on anything because of the pulsating pain only increasing with each breath.

Blatant confusion swirled in her fogged mind as she tried recalling the night’s events, recognizing her surroundings as not of her own apartment, but a friends. Rather, her best friend. Lena glanced around the room, trying to piece together what exactly happened the night before. An enormous part of her skeptical if she wanted to even know by the looks of the disheveled room. The lack of clothing on her person seeded the thought that an intimate act occurred, something she could only fantasize about.

The only thing she could clearly remember was the terrible breakup with James the day before, driving Lena to seek comfort in the person she she needed the most. With their fallout a month prior no longer of importance to a distraught Lena Luthor, she just wanted to be reassured that she was not a lost cause like James suggested.

Scattered glasses suggested a concerning level of drinking, followed by a trail of clothes that lead to the bed.  
Lena’s skin burned a bright red when her gaze landed to a sleeping shape tangled in blankets. Dirty blond hair messily spread across the pillows and a pair of black glasses on the nightstand confirmed her fear.

Hiding past the pounding headache, faint memories stirred from the past night before her unfortunate blackout. The clearest memories were of when she first arrived at Kara’s apartment, admittedly emotionally vulnerable after the harsh breakup with James just hours before. Lena closed her eyes tightly, following the faint string of events she could extract in partial fragments. 

Kara immediately pulled her into a hug and lead her to the couch where they talked for hours, not just about the breakup but their strained relationship. The visions grew fuzzy as soon as she recalled some beer and specialty alcohol that did not last as long. She remembered that Kara started crying… and then they were kissing. Not lightly either, passionately, the more alcohol that was consumed the more affectionate they got. Apparently both woman suppressed something that unwittingly lead to this moment with the Luthor woman to wake up next to the alien she had tried to hard to hate.

A very hungover Lena that could not find herself to regret the former night, no matter how much she hopelessly wanted to. She shoved any and all conflicting emotions away in countless boxes that withheld her other emotions, particularly the ones that involved her personal life. Lena grabbed the nearest article of clothing, groaning in wordly as the simple white button up that proved slightly too tight. 

Unfortunately, she would spend the day in a shirt one size too small and the same pair of simple black pants she wore yesterday. 

Lena was almost out the bedroom door when the bed creaked behind her, startling her enough where she slammed into the island. The corner caught her square in the stomach feeling as if it cracked several ribs. Clenching her stomach with one hand and shoes in the other, she limped out of the apartment ignoring the puzzled,”Lee?” coming from the bedroom.

 

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

 

She arrived at the L-Corp office in downtown National City at a little past 8am. Wide eyed exchanges from countless of her employees, undoubtedly whispering about her ragged appearance. Nonetheless, they were too scared of her to say anything upfront.

The elevator ride up to the roof only escalated her queasiness to such a state she could hardly stand. The combination of alcohol and the unmeasurable scale of emotions that refused to stay down. She did not even want to think about the hornets nest she had just slept with, but that was a problem for sober Lena.

Completely ignoring a flabbergasted Eve, Lena dragged herself into the penthouse without a word to anyone of the employees that stood in her way. She had already decided that today was going to be a free day where she would procrastinate on multiple projects.

She sat down for mere moments before the door swung open as a petite blond women let herself in, securing the door behind her. 

“You look like an absolute mess,” Eve handed her a bottle of headache relief and some water to go along with it. 

“Nice to see you too,” Lena groaned, pulling the trashcan close to her side. 

“Honestly, I expected worse. I am sorry to hear about the breakup…” She said carelessly, failing to notice Lena flinch,”I didn’t like him very much, he was very selfish. You deserve so much more than James.”

“It was a long time coming,” she admitted, unwilling to confess to Eve that part of the relationship was built off of denial for her favorable affection towards an enthusiastic reporter. What better to distract Lena from her suffocating emotions than a self centered, self righteous man that could not have cared any less about her? 

“Speaking from personal experience, drinking only does so much. Temporary company, however, works wonders,” Eve’s tone was light and cheerful as she handed a small file of paperwork to Lena. She seemed completely unbothered by her boss’s indisposed state, perhaps even amused. 

“Yeah, tried that,” Lena rested her head against the cool wooden desk,”I fear I made my situation far worse.”

“Dare I ask how?” her assistant asked, laying a comforting hand across her back,”Don’t worry about any of L-Corp work, it can wait until tomorrow. I will just tell the board you’re having a personal day.”

“Great idea,” Lena muffled, pressing her elbows against the tabletop to steady herself as she sat up. She was not feeling as sick as before, although memory of that forsaken night kept pushing to the forefront of her mind,”It’s… complicated. I’ll tell you about it when I’m not on the verge of passing out.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll order you the greasiest Big Belly Burger, that’ll help with the hangover part at least,” Eve said softly. A pathetic smile touched her assistants face before she left Lena, quietly shutting the door behind her.

Now that she was alone and starting to stabilize, Lena had no choice but to confront her explosive emotions before they destroyed her. She was too drained and exhausted to withhold anymore, she could not keep playing life safe. Or at least as safe as she could be as a Luthor. L-Corp was consistent and stable, the dull crusty old men that she argued with were predictable and effortless.

Men she knew far too well, they were all the same. Ready to turn on her in an instant, using her for her fortune and influence. Frequently being misjudged and cast aside, passive remarks regarding her cursed name. They were an easy distraction against the beyond stressful job of CEO, indescribably effortless when compared to the struggles she faced alone as the last free Luthor. The only one brave enough to make a difference in the world by embracing change rather than fight it. 

She still fought the Luthor name every waking moment, desperate to separate herself from the horrid things her family has done. The world just did not seem to be ready for a good Luthor, every person Lena turned to failed to support her continuously with one exception.

The Luthors, self destructive as usual. They contributed to creation of their own doom, hers just so happened to be a charming young lady that was too delightful for her own good. The very same woman that she could not look in the eye anymore after Kara confessed that she was Supergirl.

“I wanted to protect you,” Kara's pleading words echoed in the abysses of her mind. Her darling blue gaze were heart wrenching as they seeped with sorrow. 

“I can't trust you anymore,” her cold reply had been cruel and harsh, but how else could she have responded? The most important person to her was abruptly torn away and burnt to a crisp, the person she trusted most lied to her for years. Something of this magnitude should not be forgiven lightly.

But why than, could she not bring herself to hate Kara? Why could she not turn her back on Supergirl, after she betrayed her trust not only by going behind her back, but for all that time wasted in lying? Pure intentions or not, Kara selfishly considered herself and not how Lena would feel.

“Why else? Because I’m a fucking Luthor in love with a damn alien,” Lena hissed under her breath, needing to hear it outloud. The thought was always there, stalking the recesses of her mind since the day she met Kara.

What she hated even more was that she could not find an ounce of ill intent in the deep folds of her inner self, only a steady stream of disappointment and lust that would never be satiated. 

Lena's unsteady gaze focused upon the reflection in the dark computer screen in fronts of her. What stared back at her was a paled women with thin features, dark circles laced around her eyes. An empty shell reflected back, almost lifeless in complexion, chocolate brown hair twisted thinly across her shoulders. Each excruciating second that trickled by the more she despised her appearance. No longer a proud, dignified woman but instead a fatigued, broken girl that was just… lost. 

Makeup only did so much, providing a falsetto appearance to appeal to those she worked with. The inside, however, was unrecognizable. Even with her best intentions, Kara severed her heart and ruined their fierce bond. Lena could not find fault in why Kara hid herself for all this time, she reluctantly understood why she kept her secret identity, but at the time all she felt was betrayed. Lena could not resist the sheer blinding rage that consumed her that heartbreaking day when Kara came out as Supergirl. Lena regretted her rash reaction, the uncontrollable anger stemmed from relentless lying from those she cared for.

Now, especially after last night's development, all she wanted to do was hug her and tell her she was sorry. That she was wrong to have lashed out, that she was acting out of fear, out of love.

That she didn't need Lena to protect her, that no matter how much she tried, Kara still rushed into danger. Sure, her Kryptonian body was basically invincible but someday that god complex would prove fatal. 

This past month had been particularly brutal with the aggressive Children of Liberty attacks. Her single greatest fear would be that they somehow got ahold of her custom kryptonite again and would unleash a power that Kara could not overcome.

A vicious wave of chills washed over her skin, encouraging Lena to wait out the wicked hangover rather than push through. She slowly dragged herself out of her chair, unsteadily walking over to the plush couch that rested against the far well of the office. 

Her stomach churned with each step until she collapsed on the couch with a pathetic groan. As much as she swore off of alcohol, Lena was aware that this would not be the last time she would be incapacitated like this as a result of excessive drinking. 

After another aggressive batch of shivers consumed her weakened stature. Exhaustion tugged her eyelids shut, relaxing her body against the current of nauseous. She was expecting to fight to sleep, welcoming the ease it took before slumber stole her consciousness. 

Sleep did not come without consequence for her dreams fought against her desire for a peaceful rest instead fulling in the blank spaces with images of her own creation. Lena knew not what was real or imagination, only that what she saw tempted her heart to act on the turmoil of emotions deep within.

She could almost feel Kara’s gentle stroke as her index finger traced her face before they both gave in to the temptations of the intoxication. Their lips touched, jolting to a familiar hazy image of being led to a bed by a blond women. Darkness followed suit, coming forthwith a shocking sense of warm peace. Plagued with fleeting dream sequences, none of importance that would she ingrained in her memory.

Her restless sleep held a tight grip for almost an entire day until a gentle tap on her shoulder. She shrugged away and curled closer to the couch, unwilling to abide the persuasion to awaken. 

“Lena, wake up,” Eve’s worried voice prompted her to open her eyes. Most of the sickness had passed much to her delight, but the tense expression that haunted her usually delightful face lit a flame of unease.

The entire penthouse was darkened to a faded blue as the sun lowered itself over the city,”How long have I been asleep?” 

“It’s a little past 6,” Eve picked up the television remote, her expression intensifying as the screen lit up the room.

“Eve? What aren't you telling me?” Lena pulled herself up off the couch, stretching her limbs out with a relieved sigh. She was still a little unsteady on her feet, the only remnants of last night was pang of remorse clinging to her chest.

“You just can't catch a break,” she sighed, directing the screen to a news channel. “Lex escaped.”

“He what!?” Lena gaped, eyes wide with terror. This meant that Kara was in even more danger, her brother would stop at nothing until the two Kryptonians were dead.

“The police have already contacted the office for your alibi for last night…” Eve raised an eyebrow, shifting a curious glance at Lena,”Your date from last night would provide one?” 

“She will,” Lena grumbled, aware that the police were likely on their way at this very moment. Who better than to pin Lex Luthor's escape than on his sister who actively spoke out against his anti alien sediments? 

The mention of a female companion through Eve off for a beat, she choose to ignore it,”For your sake I hope so, they are desperate for someone to blame this on to calm down the public.”

“When did this happen?” Lena’s attention focused on the screen as a news anchor discussed how and why Lex escaped with her co-host.

“Late last night, the police wanted to keep it quiet to avoid panic until they could track him down. He vanished, no sign of Lex anywhere,” she explanation, tone soft with sympathy.

“He has safe houses scattered across the country. They will not find what they seek here, but would you mind tidying up the lab in case they get a warrant? My studies cannot leak to the public.” If her research was released to the public, it would be far more dangerous than any rumors regarding her sexuality or her involvement in Lex's escape.

“Of course…” Eve opened her mouth to say more but was disrupted by the door abruptly opening. Several police officers filled in to her penthouse, weapons raised as they examined the room likely expecting for Lex to just be sitting there on the couch.

“Miss Luthor, we have some questions regarding your brothers escape,” a young detective spoke with authority, his dark eyes revealing nothing. 

“Ask away,” Lena nodded to dismiss Eve, hoping that she would catch her urgant stare and hurry down to the lab. They required a warrant to exam her entire building, but denying their request would only increase suspicion. 

“Were you aware of your brothers plants to escape?” He asked, taking out a small notepad. His fellow officers picked their way through her messy office, searching for incriminating evidence 

“No, I am just as much surprised and worried as you are,” She sat down at her desk, anxiety rising as he wrote down a couple sentences. 

“Now I am are aware of your complicated relationship with Lex, have you make any contact with him since his sentence?” 

“I assure you, sir, we have not spoken since the trial,” she narrowed her eyes, examining the cop as Lena sat down,”You are welcome to search L-Corp at any time, but you will just be wasting your time and resources.”

“Are you sure, Miss Luthor? No contact? Because we have record of a restricted number being answered at approximately 12:38am here, at your office. You have a reputation of working late nights…” He raised a thick black eyebrow, glancing up from his notes.

“Would you be asking me any of this if I was not a Luthor? The only Luthor that has yet to go berserk and become a domestic terrorist? I suppose it is true what they say, no matter what you do others will judge you from who you came from rather than by your own merits,” Lena commented dryly. This routine was getting stale, especially with her mothers recent activity with CADMUS and the incident with the sick children. She did not even want to delve into the mess that was the Guardian situation, something she truly regrets meddling in. 

“Miss, I am only doing my job, we must cover all possible outlets. This is nothing personal…” He sighed, shifting his stance slightly,”Your brother is a dangerous man, we only wish to find him before he hurts anyone else.”

“And you are telling me this? Seriously? Do you think so little of me that you think I do not care about the people he will hurt? I have friends that he is very enthusiastic to kill, not to mention the countless of civilians that will get hurt because of Lex,” Lena retorted, anger flaring in her gut. 

“All I request is for you to call if he attempts any communication,” the detective scribbled down some more notes, driving Lena’s patience to its limits.

“And I will contact you immediately if he makes any contact, but as of right now, I have not heard from him. I want him off the street sooner than anyone else, trust me on that,” Lena responded calmly. Her promise to call the police however was a lie, she trusted the DEO to handle this situation far more efficiently considering they had the resources to track down her brother. 

“My apologies, Miss Luthor, I did not intend to offend you,” he correctly sensed her annoyance of his presence.

“Either arrest me or please leave me alone,” she pressed a hand against her forehead as a sharp headache formed from the addition of stress. Any ounce of patience she had left cracked when he opened his mouth to speak again.

“Just one last question and I will be out of your way,” he asked calmly,”Is there anyone that can supply an alibi?”

“Kara Danvers can,” Lena replied quickly. She could not have cared less if he read more into her words,”She can confirm my presence the entire night.”

“I will look into that, thank you,” the detective started to make his way out of the office but not before adding,”There are people that want you taken down, Miss Luthor. I advise you to proceed with caution.”


	2. Worthless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the news of Lex's escape, Lena flees to her apartment as she falters and caves in to the pressure of her chaotic life. The last person she wants to see comforts her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really sure where else to take this so this may be it for now. This was a messy write but live and learn? Maybe?  
> Fuck 4x07 KILLED ME. That's why Adam is mentioned here, this was edited to include him in it.   
> THIS CHILD CARRIES THE GUILT OF HER MOTHERS DEATH AND SHE'S GONNA BE A VILLIAN? FUCK THE WRITERS
> 
>  
> 
> just let her protect them god damn it

The second that the police left, Lena made an ill advised move and fled home. She was well aware of how it looked, a Luthor fleeing after a police visit never hinted to a positive motive, providing suspicion to those watching that she was hiding something. It was only a matter of time for the police to storm her apartment as if Lex would be hiding in the closet. 

All she wanted to do was go home, to get away from the suffocating pressure of running L-Corp. She was in no shape to run her business right now, not that she had gotten much done today regardless.   
Lena slammed the door behind her, locking it immediately. An unsettling feeling aroused deep within as she glanced around the darkly lit apartment, expecting for Lex to step out of the shadows. Minutes ticked by as she leaned against the door until Lena was willing to admit that she was alone. 

Alone to express the crushing abundance of emotions she worked to hard to maintain and keep concealed, locked away from the judgmental world. In the eyes of society, emotions were a sign of weakness, and she could not give away anything for her countless enemies to manipulate. If her adversaries had any inkling of how close she was to breaking, L-Corp would be doomed. The confident image of CEO Lena Luthor was growing increasingly hard to fabricate as the days dragged by with her focus on her experiments and James. 

In the privacy of her own home, Lena allowed herself to give into the overwhelming pressure of the life of a Luthor. At least she had control of her life for now with Lillian in prison, although she expected Lex to reach out to her soon enough. Her throat burned with the temptation to relinquish the buildup of emotions. She inhaled a deep gulp of air, releasing it in sync with the slow stream of tears. Only now at her lowest point did she stop fighting with herself, a flood of despair that wiped out any speck of joy that may have resided somewhere within her heart. 

Her body slid to the floor, too distraught to stagger to the couch,”Can I never escape them?” Lena croaked, head resting back against the doorframe. 

Maybe now was a good time as any to confront her multitude of mistakes, most notably the gigantic waste of time spent on James. He constantly doubted her, never trusted her, always tossing Lena aside as if she was there whenever convenient for him. Lena still did not understand fully why she stayed with him for all that time, only that the relationship served its purpose as a distraction from Kara. 

Years of internalized homophobia at the brutal words of Lillian echoed in the back of her mind. That was one of the many ways the cruel woman tortured Lena, telling her what she felt was not real, that she deserved what she had coming for even thinking such horrific thoughts. Every suggestive thought, every heart wrenching pang of desire was met with guilt paired with a fading sense of stifling disgust. 

How though, Lena still could not comprehend precisely how this atrocity happened, particularly in a such a close time period. She typically prided herself in her ability to keep her emotions in check, but something was different about that single girl. Or at least she thought, until Kara had to ruin it by lying about her secret identity. In hindsight this revelation was so obvious it was a wonder she did not make the connection, perhaps Lena subconsciously blinded herself as a way to protect herself. 

Kara freaking Danvers, otherwise known as the only source of pristine light in the smothering sense of darkness. That was until life decided that she had not suffered enough, something had to changed within Kara that persuaded her to confess a secret so surprising Lena refused to believe it at first. She could not deny that it made sense, the numerous close calls where Supergirl was suddenly there when she had no right being in the area. Of course the thought had occurred, the coincidences were far to common for the two people not to be connected.

It took a concerning amount of time for the realization that Kara was gay, whether it be bisexual, pansexual, or whatever the hell she considered herself. Maybe aliens did not have labels, hell if she knew.   
From the shreds of memories she collected from her glimpses of her intoxicated state, last night’s rapid development was a long time coming. It was too real, too personal for it to just be a one night stand, perhaps her attraction to Kara was not as one-sided as assumed previously. Or maybe it was, and Lena let herself be vulnerable and as consequence any potential chance at restoring their friendship was now shattered. That is if she could just talk to Kara, to understand why she lied. 

Between quiet sobs, Lena chuckled weakly. The idea that Kara would find her redeemable, especially after Adam’s death at her hands was amusing. If only Lex could see her now, attempting to use L-Corp and alien technology to aid humanity instead of destroying it. Whether it was irony or karma, her destruction hung in limbo, all because she fell in love with an alien. The very alien species Lex was dead set on destroying.

Even if the Harun-El experiments were successful, the world would find a way to tear her down. Her critics would focus on the people that have suffered from her trial, regardless of their knowing consent, instead of what the success of these experiments would mean for humanity. She would never be good enough, forever in the shadow of a name she did not belong to. Lena still grieved for Adam’s sacrifice, but she refused to let his death mean nothing, she would figure out how to use the Harun-El for good. 

An aggressive pounding of the door startled Lena causing her to leaped to her feet. With her heart pounding to the point where she could hardly breathe, she staggered to the kitchen. Lena hurriedly searched through each drawer until she discovered a pistol. Not that it would provide much protection with her violently shaking hands, she raised the gun at eye level. 

“Lena, come on. I know you are in there,” a desperate female voice pleaded from the otherside the door. 

At the sound of Kara’s voice, the gun slipped from her unsteady hands. It hit the tile floor with a loud clunk, prompting a concerned remark from the voice again,”I will knock down this door in five seconds!” 

“Five!”

Lena tried to speak but her throat was tight with sorrow, so instead she frantically unlocked the three deadbolts and swung   
open the door,”Four.”

“Three.” She knew it was Kara on the other side, but was not expecting to see a battered Supergirl on the verge of punching her way through the door.

“Two,” her voice faltered as their eyes connected. Kara blinked rapidly in surprise but refrained from making another sound. 

“What do you want?” Lena found her voice, sounding just as raspy and tired and faltered as she felt. 

“To see if you’re okay,” Kara stayed were she was, not making any effort to push by Lena to come in. She had a busted lip and part of her suit was torn around her ribcage. An arm resting against the hallway supported most of her weight. It looked like she had fought a super-powered bear and barely escaped with her life.

“You mean to see if I helped Lex escape? If he’s hiding out here?” She seethed, her tone harsh.

“Who do you think did this?” Kara's eyes flashed with hurt. 

“What did you do?” Lena sighed, stepping aside to let her in. 

“I heard Lex got out… so I had Brainy track him down for me,” she winced, wrapping her left hand around her waist,”I wanted to catch him before he had a chance to get to you.”

“Damn it Kara…” Lena quietly shut the door, securing the locks as she collapsed onto the couch.

“I did it for you,” Kara said sheepishly, her pale Kryptonian skin flared to a bright red.

“How the hell did you convince Alex to send the DEO?” She settled down next to Kara, making sure to leave several inches in between them. Lena was far too emotionally drained to deal with Kara right now as she could feel the start of another outbreak building. 

“I didn’t,” Kara whispered with a feeble sigh as she turned away, unable to face Lena. 

“Are you freaking serious? Why would you do something so stupid?” She scoffed,”You just flew to his doorstep, basically handing yourself over to a madman? He has no issue killing aliens, especially Kryptonians!”

“I wanted to arrest him for you,” Kara reluctantly peeked out of the corner of her eye,”To make up for what I did.”

“What would I have done if he had killed you? I can’t handle another loss,” Lena stopped herself from speaking as the pain in the back of her throat spiked. 

“I’m sorry, I feel so terrible after the lying. If I had been honest with you from the beginning than last night would not have happened,” the Kryptonian blonde sighed heavily, wincing as she shifted her body towards Lena.

“I was weak, it was my fault,” she grumbled, untying her hair from the loose bun. It messily fell across her back in tangled dark brown strands. Lena ran a hand through her hair, tightly shutting her eyes to block out the rushing desire to take Kara’s pained face between her hands and kiss her until the world melted away. Lena was on the verge of crying again and the last person she wanted to do that in front of was sitting right next to her. 

“Lee, it takes two to tango,” Kara chirped in attempt to lighten the mood. Lena felt weight around her shoulder, sudden warmth on her right side alerted her that Kara had moved closer,”I just didn’t want him to hurt you again. We were both emotional, I was just so happy to see you again.”

She was torn, her sensible side wanting to push Kara away while her emotional side wanted to embrace her and never let go,”Happy to see me? I’m a Luthor, Kara. The first suspect in his escape. I’m never good enough for the world and I never will be.”

“You put the Luthor name and fortune to good use, you’ve done so many great things. Saved my life in more ways than once,” Kara murmured, tightening her hug.

“You don’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like to have hatred engraved in your soul, for every whisper behind your back wondering when you’ll turn on them. I’ve killed my mom, Adam. I don’t deserve you,” Lena breathed, a couple of teardrops escaping as she opened her eyes to glare at Kara. Two excruciating months since Adam’s death rocked her core, haunting her each time she searched for another participant for the Harun-El program

“I can’t protect you,” she added in a strained whisper.

“Oh, Lee…” Kara sighed, resting her head against Lena’s shoulder,”Neither of their deaths were your fault. No matter what you say, no matter what you think, I’ll be here. I know things may not be the same, that it may take time to rebuild what we had, but I will never leave you,” her hushed voice paused for a moment as Kara kissed her check,”You don’t have to protect me.”

“Until you do, until someone hurts you beyond my ability to help. They all do. Or they go crazy, turn on me, die. I hurt people Kara, it’s what I do, I’m a Luthor after all. Why fight it?” Lena bristled as Kara wiped away the tears that dripped off her defined cheekbones. 

“I have faith in you, I always have,” Kara murmured, guiding Lena’s face to meet her own with an index finger,”You are more than a name.”

“It’s not that simple. We can’t just kiss and make up,” she growled, pulling out of the alien’s grasp. Lena’s heart thumped wildly against her ribcage as it became harder to fight when Kara’s pale blue depths darkened with agony. 

“Oh Rao… Why do you defy happiness? I can’t help how I feel Lena, I care more than you can imagine,” Kara rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. Lena could not resist flinching at the attempt of affection contact. 

“Kara, don’t you get it? I can’t be happy. The world is against it. It seemed like a cruel joke when I started to fall for you. You know what happened when I told Lillian? She laughed. Said of course I would fall for you, said I did it to spite her. I just assumed it was because she’s homophobic, not because you’re freaking Supergirl.”

“I’m here, Lena. I will be here for whatever you need, whether it be a friend or something more. You’ve got someone to talk to now, you are not alone,” she insisted, desperation becoming more apparent.

“You aren’t hearing me,” Lena whispered, hardly audible,”I can’t do this. I hate that I love you.” It was entirely true, in a sense. Kara would always be a reminder of what she wanted, a chance at a happy life that was just out of reach. She could not get attached, not more than she already was, it already hurt seeing Kara in pain, it would only amplify that agony to an unbearable amount,”You’re a weakness I can’t afford the luxury of having.”

Kara sat in silence, struggling to process Lena’s cold words. She hoped that her ruthless lament would chase Kara away so that she could suffer in peace. The tension broke as the Girl of Steel essentially tackled Lena in another rather annoying hug.   
Lena was shocked to see her pale crystal eyes tainted with a pinch of red around the edges, tears started to form. 

”Hate me, fight me all you want, but fight harder against the hatred. You have made your own impact, but maybe not in the way intended to. Lena Luthor, you are a Luthor of your own accord. The same Luthor woman I fell in love with that day for that article for that exploded rocket,” she said, burying her sorrowful face into the disarray of chestnut hair.

“The same reporter that has stood by me since day one,” Lena finished reluctantly. This damn girl was somehow her savior yet the bane of her existence at the same time. 

“No matter what they say, no matter what he does, I’m here for you. It will be a rough couple of months until I can rebuild your trust, but I’ll never leave you. Lex is just an obstacle that we can conquer together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making a dumbass decision and writing a fantasy AU.   
> Expect magic, dragons, and opposing kingdoms and a slow burn Supercorp?
> 
> I will probably do some short prompts in between, so if anyone has any requests just comment ;)

**Author's Note:**

> If you can't tell by now, this isn't going to be a very exciting story, just a short tale of a gay broken Lena Luthor.


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